Saturday, January 29, 2011

Me duelo

If I were to see you right now, I just might have to kiss you. My lipsticked lips pushed against yours. What a lovely picture.
When I sit alone, I sometimes think about the hours we spent in your room staring at each other. You always looked at me funny and I would watch you seductively, except you never thought I was seductive. Only dumb. But you still liked me.
You mistook my intellect as innocent, and it was, and you liked it. You liked it because I was intrigued by everything you'd say. It's true, you intrigued me. I was in love with you then, I still am now. But you've moved on, obviously. And now my only connection with you is a few polite words shared only in text, always at night.
I miss us then. I want us to be then, now.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


The night she died was when she was most beautiful. I would know because I was the one who killed her.

Sunday, January 23, 2011


Who had the 'stache first, Adolf Hitler or Charlie Chaplin?

Hitler was addicted to meth, cocaine, and all sorts of other drugs. Pretty interesting.

Congratulations, Mandy, this is your 100th post! You've done well.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Oh, oh, ohhh.

Hi there. I hope all is well. Good luck with birthing your new baby.
Love your little sister, Mandy.

Haha that's so awkward.

I really like words.
My favorites are:

I like talking to people I don't know online. I like the comfort of hiding behind my computer and just typing away. I try to be polite, of course. But it's cool because you learn about so many things! This blog has made me more open-minded. I usually forget that there's life outside of the city I live in, which makes me feel selfish sometimes.

I'm gonna be honest here, I'm kind of a loner. I have one friend whom I trust entirely and all my other "friends" are really just acquaintances. But don't go feeling bad for me because I kind of did this to myself. I actually prefer to be alone... I'm also socially awkward because I never know what to say to people so that's why I hardly talk. I just chat away in my head and then at the end of the day I let most of it out on this blog. So now you know why I usually change the subject so often.

One more thing, the way I write things is actually how I speak in person. I know a lot of people who speak differently on the computer than they would in person because they have more time to think of their words or whatever, but I find that to be annoying sometimes. I have a friend who speaks as if he were a modern Shakespeare...on Facebook. In person, though, he's just a normal guy who says "Brah, you saw her tits, right?" Yeah, Shakespeare would never say something like that. So the only time I'll actually try to sound all suave and seductive is when I'm writing a story or attempting a poem.
But yeah, just wanted to put that out there. :)

Monday, January 17, 2011


Mr. Mason,
I feel compelled to write this brilliant essay but I just have nothing to say. I can beat around the bush for as long as this essay needs to be, but I can't seem to get straight to the point. I don't understand how to recognize puns, metaphors, similies, or juxtapositioning in Shakespeare's convoluted language. I'm trying all my provided resources for assistance but I just seem to be stuck. Perhaps I'm just overthinking it because I want to impress you yet again...or maybe I just don't like Shakespeare. I apologize, I didn't mean to come off as rude.

I wrote this note to my teacher and I'm really scared to hear what he has to say about it. I hope he isn't offened.

Sunday, January 16, 2011


My friend and I went to a school dance last night. The theme was stoplight so you had to wear the color that represents your relationship status.
Green- single
Yellow- dating
Red- in a relationship
We arrived an hour late because we took forever getting ready. But, of course, on our way there she wants me to stop at the park by our school to pick "something" up. So we arrive at the park and this guy I recognize from school comes out from the shadows and hands her a tiny baggy. She hands him some money and tells me to leave. I asked if that was weed and she told me not to worry about it. Annoyed, I drive to school. As I'm pulling in to a parking a space, she looks over at me and says, "I took it!" I look over and asked her what is was. She proudly said, "Ecstasy."
I realized that this was all out of my control. I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't believe she could be so stupid especially after I tell her not to try ecstasy at school.
I tried ignoring her and just tried to have fun, but that was impossible with her yelling in my ear, "I don't feel anything! This sucks...Let's go find Sean! I want to dance with someone...let's go over there!" After about twenty minutes of just walking around in circles and watching everyone dry hump each other, I decided I was leaving. I told Naomi that I was going and if she was going to be okay. She said yes and that she'd call me when she wanted me to pick her up. So I left.
I called Naomi when the dance ended and asked her if she wanted me to go get her. She replied, "Mandy, you left me! I don't want to talk to you. Bye." She then texted me saying she was going to pick up her car from my house later and that she was staying the night with one of her friends.
I hope she realizes that I'm done dealing with everything she puts me through.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

James Dean

I'm deeply and madly in love with James Dean.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011


I really don't like it when girls wear denim shorts in the winter. Even if it is seventy-something degrees out, it is still winter. -_-

My teacher proved how one equals two. I wasn't paying attention, though, because I was too busy writing about myself.
I only wrote down basic facts:
Mandy Enriquez
17 years old
5 feet 2 inches
Senior in high school
Orange County, California

The janitors at my school like me now, because I picked up trash in the quad.
I was only picking up the trash because the seagulls were trying to eat it.
I don't like when people litter.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


Senior Ditch Day.
Notorious for being lame.

I think about seven seniors ditched class today. Most of them being stoners- shocker.

So I would've totally cut class...if I hadn't missed so many days from being sick. But Brady and I had our own fun during fourth period. We snuck off campus to watch Jersey Shore while we ate bagels and drank coffee. The ride back to school was way more eventful, though. I had a stare down with Austin's bus and that really pissed off this old man who was behind him. Then we cruised around the staff parking lot and waved "hi" to our friends who were eating hamburgers. I almost ran over London because he walked in front of my car to see what brand it was... I don't know why that was so important to him. But anyway, Brady and I finally parked and we walked on over to English as we sang that one song by Biggie Smalls, "I like it when you call me big papa!"

So that's me and the B-man, just walking to class. You know, the usual.

After school, today, I left a note on Naomi's car and after placing it underneath her windshield wiper I realized I wrote something really weird on the back of it. It said "I need you in a bad way. In a way that'll make your stomach cringe and your ass flutter. I want you to make me cry." And off to the side I drew a picture of Brady looking really tall and skinny with a bunch of freckles. I can only imagine her expression after seeing that. Haha how funny.

Monday, January 10, 2011


Apparently Californians are:
Good at making money
Born outside the U.S.
Bandwagon sports fans

Haha this is what people type into Bing!
How funny.

"Shalom, I'd like to apply for a loan." -Dwight Shrute; The Office

I was talking to my dad just now and he said that women should only pay 1 out of 80 times when going out with someone. Then he quickly added, "Unless you're an ugly girl. That's different. Ugly girls buy their own drinks, pretty girls don't."

Sunday, January 9, 2011


Dorian Galagy is a confused little girl. She isn't sure what she wants to do anymore because she has too many influences:
Her mother, who really only cares about money but can't seem to save it.
Her best (guy) friend, who cares about education and notices little details about people.
Her best (girl) friend, who is unsure of herself and is obstructive of all beautiful things around her.
A girl like Dory doesn't have to the heart to tell anyone what she really thinks because she doesn't want to offend them. She does what she is told and listens to everyone who speaks to her. Sadly, she let's most people's ideas shape the way she perceives things. She hasn't been too bothered by this realization until someone called her a sufferer. By this, they meant that Dory let's people control her future; she doesn't take initiative and do what she wants to do. But Dory finds it difficult to do what she wants because she's always trying to please everyone.

Saturday, January 8, 2011


I named my blog Trouble in Mind because I heard a song by Janis Joplin and that's what it was titled. I really liked it at the time I made this blog so I thought, "why not just name my blog that?"

Oh, and my name isn't really Mandy Thomas...anymore.
Mandy is my first name; it isn't short for Amanda.
Thomas used to be my middle name but then my mom changed it to Marie when she and my step-dad were changing my last name (my step-dad adopted me). I still prefer Mandy Thomas than Mandy Marie because a lot of girls I know have the middle name Marie.

This is how I sign my name at school:
M. Enriquez

Just like W.E.B. DuBois

Friday, January 7, 2011

Rambling On

People wouldn't like me if I was everywhere.
Hell, people don't even like that I'm no where.

If you want to be like me, you should probably start hanging out with me. You know, get to know me a little, come over to my house, borrow my clothes, use me for my lack of friends. Then stop calling me and tell everyone what I talked about with you, but switch my words around so I can look insecure and immature. Make me hate you and write about you in metaphors that'll make no sense to you, but all the passionate anger I have towards you will be definite. I mean, as long as you get what I'm talking about, that's all that matters.

The one thing I love about my high school:
I'm walking around with my iPad. Someone I don't know, but I've seen before, approaches me and says, "Hey, you have an iPad? Me too... What else do you have?"
I like not having to feel bad for bringing my electronics to school.

The one thing I hate about my high school:
"Youre in AP Psychology?"
"Yeah, it's really hard."
"No it's not. Try being in IB, tech, and ROP. Then you'll know hard."

When someone tells you about one of their friends that you don't know and they say, "youll either really like them or you'll hate them," I always want to prove them wrong by just kind of liking the person... Does that make sense? I hope so.

Here's a better a example:
Naomi: Oh my God, you're going to meet Brice tomorrow 'cause he's coming too. Everyone thinks he is so hot.
Mandy: Oh? Okay...
(After seeing Brice)
Mandy: I didn't think he was that cute. I expected him to be a lot cuter.
Naomi: Well, you need to see him in daylight and he wasn't talking very much so you couldn't see how nice he is.
Mandy: Maybe.

Yeah, I think that makes better sense.

Thursday, January 6, 2011


"It's like I'm in a room full of retards and there are no doors and the walls are made of windows and everyone is looking in and laughing at me and saying stuff like " lol that guy looks annoyed" and the only way out is suicide but I have no way of killing myself so I try holding my breathe to suffocate myself but I just pass out and I wake up in the room full of retards and repeat the whole process over again." -Brady.

Oh how I love you, my dearest friend.

Girls have the strangest faces, excluding me, though, because I'm beautiful and I have a perfect body. Every time I walk by, everyone just stares and wishes they could look like me. I have girls come up to me daily asking me what I do to look so pretty and I simply say, "nothing," and walk away.

Oh how I love myself for being a so-called "little pretty bitch!"

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


Why would someone key my fucking car?

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Wilted Sorrow

Three things that made me cry last night:

1. The thought of the world possibly ending in 2012

2. "I mean most girls are so dumb and all.  After you neck them for a while, you can really watch them losing their brains.  You take a girl when she really gets passionate, she just hasn't any brains." -The Catcher in the Rye

3. "I'm not there" by Bob Dylan

I started crying mostly because all of these things remind me of someone I once knew.
Especially The Cather in the Rye quote. That's something he would've said.

Oh well, I'm better now.
I'm going to buy The Catcher in the Rye today after school.
Then I'm going to eat sushi with Brady, my best friend.
Ah, all these days seem so uneventful.

Monday, January 3, 2011

Planet Earth

Is the world going to be okay?

Sunday, January 2, 2011


I'm going to write a book. I'm going to name it When the War Ends.
The first page will say:
Dear fellow Reader,
I'm proud that you choose to pick up my book. I came up with the idea of this writing when I was hot and fresh out of the shower at the mere age of 17. Enjoy.

Page 1.
Think of all the generations coming together and teaching each other their ideas, fads, lingo, and romance. Imagine how intriguing such a thing could be. A possible chance at understanding history through the eyes of a witness. All our elders, so experienced and wise, will inform their naïve children of the life we are about to encounter. All us children, innocent and rebellious, will explain our cynicisim toward society and express our emotional intellect in a misunderstood light. What a nice world it could be if we all attended a universal convention dedicated to agreement, understanding, and gratitude.

Page 2.
Always know your worth. Remember the person you see in your mirror and remember the person you aspire to be. Be attractive and kind, never come off as sinister. No one likes obnoxious girls who can't hold their own secrets. No one likes girls who blame their addiction on a tragedy. Don't be a girl who feens for unwanted attention.

Page 3.
Trouble is a biased noun. Trouble only follows those who are leaders of self pity. It'll never come to you if you are confident of your being. Be careful and alert, for trouble is blind and inconspicuous. Never turn your back to a setting sun.

Page 4.
When you discover the power of lust, you are no longer innocent. Hold on to your innocence for as long as you can. Pretend to be pure, virginal, composed, refined, and vulnerable. Be "that sweet girl". Pretend to be lovely and love only to be happy.

Page 5.
Never miss anyone who can't remember your name. Forget all the men you have ever once made love to. The users of your body, the ones you've invited inside, the ones who've felt your orgasm, the ones who made you sweat, moan, thrust, kiss, beg... These men are nothing more than dogs. Men love physically; women love emotionally. The most important phrase of love isn't the cliché "I love you", it's saying "Goodbye".

Page 6.
Vulnerability shouldn't have to be taboo. To be a strong person is accepting and expressing every emotion you feel while keeping your composure. Don't come off as hard-headed because it's very unbecoming of a human to conceal all their insecurities.

Page 7.
Be mysterious. Don't talk too much. A good communicator knows show to speak with their eyes. Express thoughts only through your body. Learn how to become intimate with something intangible.

Page 8.
Surround yourself with people you can learn from. Never make your own mistakes when someone else can do it for you. Aspire to be better than your colleagues because the person you are isn't the person they want to see. Speak to ignorance slowly, lovingly. Ignorance is patient and should spoken to with respect. Intellectuals are too prideful and shouldnt be allowed to expand with arrogance. Their minds become too large and excrete an overwhelming smell of theories, hypotheses, and conspiracies.

Page 9.
View everything as if it were a circle. Circles are round and endless, soft, charming, and irrational. The only shape that can roll itself over into a new light.

Page 10.
Don't believe in love, don't fall in love. Love is only a theory that desperate housewives came up with because they yearn for their husbands to come home and kiss them gently. Love is never expressed by men. To men love doesn't exist; women believe that love is universal, love is blind and powerful, that love can change their husbands' idea of good sex.

Page 11.
Everything is always better tomorrow. Don't contemplate or commit suicide because someone needs you. Everyone has purpose.

Page 12.
Beauty is a privilege.