Monday, October 18, 2010


I don't know what's wrong with me.
I feel so overwhelmed with so many emotions, it's hard for me to take in.
I feel so sad and regretful. I feel nostalgic and anxious. I don't know what's overcome me.
One minute I feel like crying, then I do cry, and then after a few tears I'm perfectly fine.
This is so weird, I hate feeling like this. I'm so stressed out, I don't feel like doing anything at all, least, not for a while.
I'm a little bummed about my weekend, I don't know if I should feel embarrassed, be upset, or just be completely indifferent to it all. I don't know, I really don't know.
Naomi told me to get over it but I can't just forget it at the snap of a finger. It will definitely take me a while to forget this one, especially if it still has this much of an effect on me. I never realized how hateful such words can be. I despise girls who degrade other girls out of jealousy.

First of all, I'm not twelve, I'm seventeen years old.
Second, I'm a size three, not a fucking thirteen.
Third, I'm a girl, not a little boy.

I'm not a nasty slut, either. Bitch doesn't know shit. I was trying to be nice to her dumb ass.

Oh my goodness, all of my self-confidence has been depleted to almost nothing.
I'm going to be so insecure the next time I go out with Naomi.
I probably won't want to face her friends at all after this.
I hate that I can't defend myself. I hate that I get scared so easily, but I don't like fighting, not even verbally.

Oh my god, I'm being torn apart and according to my sister, that's exactly what they want to happen. Fuck jealous insecure people.

As lame as this may sound, I need a hug.

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