Thursday, October 28, 2010


Do you ever hate when you can't get someone out of your head?

That beautifully sculpted face can't seem to depart from my thoughts, much less my life. I miss seeing that face everyday, criticizing my every move. I miss those eyes squinting at me from behind black tinted shades, those full lips spitting back statements of false flattery. What a fool that I am for loving someone so bitter; how naive a girl can be for loving a boy she knows nothing about.

I miss his hands touching my back, his eyes staring wonderfully into mine, his mouth moving briskly to keep up with his thoughts. His words, which were so softly spoken, carried with them through the airwaves a sadness that had impacted my sensitive ego. He was so charming in every breath, stride, smile, wink, I wanted all of him to be for me only. He made me selfish and I loathe him for it. I loathe him for making me sad and pushing me away the more I tried to be close to him.

I loathe myself for leaving him for someone who wasn't nearly as beautiful. I loathe myself for letting him go. I envy her for being with the person I miss so deeply. I miss the things we used to do together and I can't stand the thought of her taking my place. I want my love back and I can do nothing about it but watch him love her.

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